That’s right! I’m moving this blog to http://thebrandreview.tumblr.com
It’s just like the address for this blog…but instead replace “wordpress” with “tumblr”.
But Matt (that’s me) why are you moving? Well, I like the design better. I tried changing the design here and…well…look at the results. Just look at them! (they’re bad).
So thanks for checking out this site. It will continue, just in a different place. Onward and upward and some other crap.
MB
It’s the last week of the regular season which means there are some very important and, conversely, very unimportant games happening today. Admittedly, my picks this week should be taken with a grain of salt as no one really knows how games will shake down with starters sitting part way through the game.
I was in fine form last week and, as a result, even pocketed a little bit of money. Let’s see if we can’t make it rain this week. Let’s win some money.
Brandictions Week 16: 12-4
Brandictions Overall: 149-90
Sunday Early Games:
Washington Redskins @ Philadelphia Eagles: Both of these teams have actually been playing a lot better in the following weeks, compared to earlier in the season when they were rancid. I like the Eagles to end the season on a high note at home setting themselves to be in the conversation next year. WAS 17 PHI 27
Detroit Lions @ Green Bay Packers: The Packers have clinched home field advantage through the playoffs and there’s a good chance Aaron Rodgers will sit for at least a portion of this game. While this is a different Lions’ team than we’ve grown accustomed to, they have a 19 game losing streak to the Packers in Green Bay. In the NFL, I don’t believe teams don’t try, but I do believe some players and teams need a certain motivation to play hard. This is basically a pick ‘em and I’m going to take Green Bay based purely on the more veteran team showing up more than the young Lions. DET 23 GB 27
New York Jets @ Miami Dolphins: The Jets fell to the Giants last week when they needed to win. This game has more to do with the future of the AFC East – one where the Jets are falling off the radar quickly (unless they get a certain player like Peyton Manning under centre next year). NYJ 17 MIA 21
Carolina Panthers @ New Orleans Saints: The Saints have to want the number 2 seed in the NFC. Look for this to be an absolute shutout. CAR 33 NO 40
San Francisco 49ers @ St. Louis Rams: We didn’t need to wait until the last week of the season to know the Rams are horrible. Oh, and they’re down to their number 3 QB while the Niners can lock up the number 2 seed with a win. SF 20 STL 7
Chicago Bears @ Minnesota Vikings: Remember when I was saying some games mean nothing this week? Case in point – this game. I’ll take the Vikings because I don’t even know who’s starting for the Bears at QB this week. CHI 14 MIN 28
Tennessee Titans @ Houston Texans: The Texans are reeling after losing their last 2 games. Let’s be honest – the Texans may have clinched their playoff spot – but win or lose today, it doesn’t really matter. This team is one and done in the playoffs. The Titans will be playing desperate as they have an outside chance to make the playoffs and the Texans are playing scared. TEN 21 HOU 17
Indianapolis Colts @ Jacksonville Jaguars: The Colts will play well today. They’re motivated to save face and they want to end the Andrew Luck discussion. That doesn’t mean the team won’t take a new QB in the draft, but there are still enough players on the team that love Peyton to play as hard as they can for him. IND 21 JAC 14
Buffalo Bills @ New England Patriots: The Pats want to lock up the number 1 seed in the AFC for the playoffs. A win will do that, plus, I can’t remember the last time the Bills beat the Pats twice in one season. BUF 27 NE 39
Sunday Afternoon Games:
Pittsburgh Steelers @ Cleveland Browns: A Baltimore lose and a Steelers win gives Pittsburgh the number 2 seed. Big Ben is hobbled but I’ll take him to lock up the game then be pulled the remainder of the game. These are still the Browns they’re playing after all. PIT 21 CLE 13
Kansas City Chiefs @ Denver Broncos: The last two weeks the Chiefs beat the Packers and took the Raiders to overtime. The Broncos have lost 2 games in a row and Tebow’s lost his lustre. Kyle Orton will have his revenge and the questions about Tebow as a real NFL QB will come rushing back. KC 21 DEN 19
Baltimore Ravens @ Cincinnati Bengals: If the Bengals win this game, they’re in the playoffs. They reek of a one and done playoff team, but just getting there would be a huge deal for them. With the road weary Ravens visiting and their penchant for disappointment, the Bengals are playoff bound. BAL 23 CIN 27
Seattle Seahawks @ Arizona Cardinals: Both of these teams have become favorite late season sleepers for me. Both were seen as roadkill as the 49ers left everyone in the NFC West in their dust. But the cards and hawks showed resolve. But Seattle has looked like the stronger team and I like them to finish the year on a high note with another big game from the skittles fueled Marshawn Lynch. SEA 23 ARI 17
Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Atlanta Falcons: The Falcons aren’t great but they’re good at beating up bad teams – which the Bucs are. TB 13 ATL 31
San Diego Chargers @ Oakland Raiders: The Raiders will win this game and unbelievably take the AFC West to make the playoffs. SD 14 OAK 23
Sunday Night Game:
Dallas Cowboys @ New York Giants: Easily the game of the day. Winner takes all with the victor taking the division and making the playoffs – the other is eliminated. This is essentially a playoff game. The Giants are poised to take this game: they’re at home, they’re relatively healthy while Tony Romo will be playing with a sketchy hand and a sketchy backfield. But I’ve liked the Cowboys to win this division all season. As the Giants MO tells us – they’re not likely to do the expected. In a season where these two teams have been impossible to predict, I’ll take the improbable again this week: Dallas wins on the road. DAL 24 NYG 21
Stay tuned in the coming weeks as the Brandictions get real playoffy.
‘Tis the season to be busy as shit.
It’s 1pm on Christmas eve. I have presents to buy, presents to wrap, cookies to bake, proline tickets to purchase and football to watch. Yet I leave this to the last minute.
Brandictions Week 14: 9-7
Brandictions Overall: 137-86
I’m on a 9-7 kick the last 3 weeks. Let’s break the spell and make some money.
Christmas Eve Early Games:
Miami Dolphins @ New England Patriots: The Patriots could lose this game and it wouldn’t matter to them. The Dolphins would find new confidence if they were able to top off their impressive second half with a win over the Pats. But in a shootout Brady will simply put more numbers up on the board. This team doesn’t know how to back off and you can bet they want to get some confidence going into the playoffs. MIA 30 NE 36
Jacksonville Jaguars @ Tennessee Titans: It appears rookie Jake Locker will be starting this game for the Titans in place of veteran Matt Hasselbeck. I found this out just now which means I’ll be starting Nate Washington on my fantasy team this week (sadly it’s only the consolation round but I still want to massacre my enemy). The point is, as great as Hasselbeck played early on in the season, the injuries have piled up and he can no longer carry the load and furthermore, he’s not the future of this team. When Locker has made appearances this season he’s provided a spark and even led the team to victory. JAC 17 TEN 26
New York Giants @ New York Jets: Two teams playing for their playoff lives. The Giants are better than their record and the Jets are worse. Look for the Giants to win and for the questions about Rex Ryan’s future to start flying. NYG 30 NYJ 26
Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Carolina Panthers: These teams are only playing for pride. But the Bucs are still wondering where their season went while the Panthers are dreaming of great thing still to come. This boils down to team moral. TB 13 CAR 31
St. Louis Rams @ Pittsburgh Steelers: With Charlie Batch starting for the Steelers this week, while Big Ben rests his high ankle sprain, Pittsburgh will keep it simple and probably throw in one deep toss to Mike Wallace to seal the game. Batch is the backup but the Rams are down to their third string QB who’s most notable achievement to date was being the backup for Chad Pennington for the Jets. STL 13 PIT 21
Cleveland Browns @ Baltimore Ravens: Only because the Ravens are at home and because they’ll want to keep pace with the Steelers will Baltimore win this game. CLE 14 BAL 21
Arizona Cardinals @ Cincinnati Bengals: The Cards have been playing better but that only extends as far as their own stadium. The Bengals have a chance to go to the playoffs with a home win today. I don’t expect them to disappoint. ARI 21 CIN 23
Minnesota Vikings @ Washington Redskins: The Redskins have been playing the last few games like the played the first few games of the season. MIN 17 WAS 21
Denver Broncos @ Buffalo BIlls: The Bills continue to reel and I don’t believe their comeback last week was anything more than Miami temporarily falling asleep. Look for Tebow and company to continue their winning/running ways. DEN 17 BUF 13
Oakland Raiders @ Kansas City Chiefs: Amazingly these teams have the same record. After the Chiefs improbable win versus the Packers, and following the Raiders total meltdown versus the Lions, the momentum is with KC this week. OAK 17 KC 20
Christmas Eve Afternoon Games:
San Diego Chargers @ Detroit Lions: The Chargers cute little run is over. Thanks for putting in effort before the season ends. The crowd noise and Megatron will dominate this game. SD 21 DET 31
Philadelphia Eagles @ Dallas Cowboys: The Cowboys season will abruptly come to end and Jason Garrett may find himself out of work far sooner than anyone, including he, had ever imagined. PHI 36 DAL 29
San Francisco 49ers @ Seattle Seahawks: The 49ers are great but the Seahawks have been playing solid football lately. Only because the Seahawks are at home am I giving them the upset win in a close game.
Sunday Night Game:
Chicago Bears @ Green Bay Packers: When the Bears turn to one of the McCowns (I don’t even know) which one to start, it’s officially a lost season. CHI 10 GB 27
Monday Night Game:
Atlanta Falcons @ New Orleans Saints: The Saints will win but it’s worth watching how competitive the Falcons are against a good team to determine if they’ll make any noise in the playoffs. ATL 30 NO 33
Is there a quarterback playing tonight?
What a silly question. Of course there’s a quarterback playing tonight. In fact, there are actually two quarterbacks playing tonight. One on each team.
For the Houston Texans we have rookie T.J. Yates making his 4th start. Before Yates we had Matt Leinart who made a fun little cameo this season. But it wasn’t the kind of cameo where you come on the set and you’re talking to the other actings and you’re working on multiples scenes…no it’s more like the cameo when you show up, stuff your jacket pockets with catered food say your line and promptly leave with your envelope of cash. Oh Matt. If only looks could throw. Before Leinart was rising star Matt Schaub who suffered some form of injury for which I believe is commonly referred to as “Humongous Foot.”
For the Indianapolis Colts we have Dan Orlovsky. The last quarterback in the NFL to finish 0-16. He was placed in the starters job when it was determined he had what it takes to not win a game in the NFL. He ultimately failed at his job last week when the Colts won their first game of the season. Inexplicably, he has been allowed to keep his job. If the Colts were somehow to win tonight Orlovsky could be remembered in NFL lore as part of the reason the Colts lost the draft pick to attain Andrew Luck. Bummer! Before Orlovsky was fun lovin’ Curtis Painter. Yes, when Curt wasn’t busy pushing his head into a helmet that was clearly too small for his head, he was mostly doing a pretty good job of losing games on a consistent basis. Painter was pulled because the team thought Orlovsky could take the team to a whole new level of bad. We’re talking 0-0-16: a third dimension of terrible that brands you with a second zero of shame. Before Painter was Kerry Collins. Well I tell you sumthin’ what boy. When Ol’ Man Collins picked up the tel-e-phone, when it was clear Peyton Manning wouldn’t be starting the season, well ol’ Collins thought he could do by right by that there Colts team. But the game had done passed ol’ mister Collins by when he got pounded into oblivion and dag nabit if them new fangled concussion tests didn’t prove mister Kerry had a concussion. Before Collins was Manning, who had about 6 dozen neck surgeries this last year. That’s way too many neck surgeries.
If you were keeping score that’s the Houston team starting their 3rd string quarterback and the Colts are starting their 4th. Texans win. HOU 27 IND 20
I can’t wait for the Sam Hurd movie to come out.
It’s one thing to find out an NFL player, or any other professional athlete for that matter, is dealing in drugs. It’s quite another to find out a player is a Chicago Drug Kingpin. You know who else holds that title? Al Capone. So it stands that the charges against Hurd are serious (he could go to jail for 40 years). Apparently there’s a list of at least a dozen players who are clients of his. All of these players have to be sweating it out right now. Think of it this way: if Hurd was dealing between 4 and 10 kilograms of cocaine a week, then his NFL clients aren’t buying a small personal amount from him. Why would a drug Kingpin hook up a guy with his own personal stash. I’m assuming any drugs he dealt other players was a plentiful amount. It will be interesting to look back on this weeks’ games after these players have been implicated to see how they performed and how every the burden of guilt hanged over them on the field.
Well that was fun!
Brandictions Week 14: 9-7
Brandictions Overall: 128-79
Another mediocre week but after the Thursday and Saturday night games resulting in a 2-0 head start I’m feeling some good momentum. Let’s make some money.
Sunday Early Games:
Cincinnati Bengals @ St. Louis Rams It appears the Rams will be sitting Sam Bradford for the remainder of the season. They’ve given up on the year so there’s no reason to start believing in them now. CIN 24 STL 13
New Orleans Saints @ Minnesota Vikings: New Orleans in any sort of dome can’t really be stopped. This could be close for awhile but I expect the Saints to blow it up late. NO 37 MIN 27
Green Bay Packers @ Kansas City Chiefs: The Packers top receiver Greg Jennings is out until the playoffs. I say this because it has no impact on the game, because Kansas City is awful. It might be interesting to see what happens with Romeo Crennel filling in at Head Coach after the firing of Todd Haley and with Kyle Orton under centre for the first time. Okay, it won’t be that interesting. GB 41 KC 10
Seattle Seahawks @ Chicago Bears: The Bears are reeling. They’ve lost Jay Culter and Matt Forte and lost to the Broncos last week and Sam Hurd is a drug Kingpin and Marshawn Lynch is high on Skittles. SEA 23 CHI 14
Tennessee Titans @ Indianapolis Colts: With the Titans still in the wildcard hunt I like them to win here after a good showing versus the Saints last week. Though this team is starting to look better when Matt Hasselbeck gets knocked out of the game. TEN 27 IND 20
Washington Redskins @ New York Giants: The Giants are coming off a huge win over the Cowboys last week to give them the lead in the NFC East. The Redskins are still a division rival though and where they gave the Pats a good run last week I expect a closer game than expected. WAS 24 NYG 27
Carolina Panthers @ Houston Texans: I keep picking against the Texans and they keep proving me wrong. So I’m going to pick them this week just so I stop getting burned. But after clinching their playoff spot can’t you just see them letting their guard down a bit? CAR 27 HOU 30
Miami Dolphins @ Buffalo Bills: Tony Sparano got fired this week. The team said it was because they didn’t want their coaching situation to become a distraction. Really, this reeks of a firing so the Chiefs don’t get the jump on desired candidates. Where the firing of a coach can often result in a team playing to a higher level I just don’t see that happening today. Because the team was already playing well I expect this to be deflating to the Dolphins. It’s also gonna be chilly in Buffalo today. This ain’t South Beach and the Dolphins will not be running up the score on the Bills twice in one season. MIA 23 BUF 27
Sunday Afternoon Games:
Detroit Lions @ Oakland Raiders Turns out the Lions are who we thought they were: a team that’s good, but not as good as the Packers and Saints. Look for the Lions to make a push to take 2nd place in the NFC North and ultimately take a playoff spot. DET 33 OAK 23
Cleveland Browns @ Arizona Cardinals Dare I say the Cardinals have looked good lately – especially good at home? I do dare. CLE 14 ARI 27
New York Jets @ Philadelphia Eagles I’m still waiting for the Jets to implode completely. The Eagles will win this because the Jets just are not that good, frankly. NYJ 17 PHI 29
New England Patriots @ Denver Broncos So this is the game that should be on tonight. The NFL didn’t use the flex schedule to make that happen but everyone will still be tuned into this game anyway. Tim Tebow will stay in the headlines for another week after a bad Patriot defence gets exhausted chasing the Broncos in the high altitude. Tebow will even get into the double digits for passing today. NE 24 DEN 26
Sunday Night Game
Baltimore Ravens @ San Diego Chargers: The Chargers are not good. Period. BAL 27 SD 21
Monday Night Game
Pittsburgh Steelers @ San Francisco 49ers: We still don’t know if Ben Roethlisberger is playing tomorrow night. These teams are similar and I do believe Jim Harbaugh will get enough tips from his brother John to make the difference in this game. If you like defensive, low scoring games, this is the game to take the under on. PIT 13 SF 14
Nothing says football like Saturday night in Tampa Bay
Okay, that’s not actually true. Why is there a game tonight? Does this happen every year? Where have I been? Why am I asking so many questions?
The Cowboys continue to play poorly in December but rarely to they finish without a win this month. This is still Tampa Bay after all. It’s like Bucs hopped on a ship and took it on an adventure that is this NFL season…except they forgot the world is flat and they fell right over the edge at some point. Because I can’t dream up a scenario where the same thing would happen to cowboys, and because the football team in Dallas is better than the Tampa Bay team, I’ll take the Cowboys in a game that’s closer than it should be. DAL 27 TB 23
I’ll be brief. This is more a matter of getting it on the public record.
The Falcons are at home and rarely lose at home. This will be a track meet. This will be a Falcons win.
Why is Jacksonville playing a primetime game for the second time in 3 weeks? Again, Mr. Goodell, please take a look at that schedule before the season starts. Is anyone thinking the Jaguars are going to be competitive at this point? At least they’re not playing to a half sold out crowd at Jacksonville.
HOWEVER there’s always the chance Maurice Jone-Drew could score a couple touchdowns or something. JAC 21 ATL 31
The holiday spirit is all around us.
It’s a time to be merry, drink egg nog, go to parties, and play fun tricks on your co-workers like call a timeout after they kick a 50-yard field goal, negating it completely.
Jason Garrett kept the holiday tradition in tact last week when the Cowboys lost to the Cardinals in Arizona. Garrett must also be in the giving mood as he’s given the New York Giants the gift of opportunity. In the spirit of the holidays, Garrett must think it’s more fun to share the division title. He’s like the fourth wise man but instead of giving gold or some other fancy shit he just gave away his job instead.
My predictions last week were mediocre. Let’s win some money this week, people.
Brandictions Week 13: 9-7
Brandictions Overall: 119-72
Sunday Afternoon Games:
Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Jacksonville Jaguars: What happened to the Bucs? They were stickin’ around and then Josh Freeman sat out a game and now they seem to be stuck at sea. Jacksonville meanwhile got destroyed by a San Diego team everyone had left for dead. There will be nothing glamourous about this game. But, much like everyone thought the Jags had a decent chance to beat the Chargers, people might think the same thing this week. But Tampa, despite their struggles, are still a better team. This game means nothing but look for the Bucs to get a feel good win. TB 27 JAC 17
Houston Texans @ Cincinnati Bengals: No one’s pointing and laughing at Texans’ previous third string Quarterback T.J. Yates. This week Yates has been lauded with praise for being competent. But this is still a rookie QB making only his second start. We’ve seen QBs fill in for a week and play well only to struggle mightily the next week. Remember John Skelton? It doesn’t matter. The Bengals season hinges on this game and a win will keep them in the wild card discussion. HOU 17 CIN 21
Kansas City Chiefs @ New York Jets: Is it fate that Kyle Orton injured himself on the first snap with his new team? Only if you believe in fate, I suppose. Despite Tyler Palko’s last second hail mary, he’s not getting the same bump Tim Tebow’s getting. No one started Palkoing after the Chiefs win last week. What would Palkoing look like? It just people not cutting their hair. If the Jets were playing anyone else this week, I’d probably pick anyone else. But this week they run into a weak opponent that even the lackadaisical Jets can yawn their way through and win just barely. Classic Jets. KC 14 NYJ 17
Minnesota Vikings @ Detroit Lions: The Lions have lost the past 2 weeks and will be without their most valuable psychopath, Ndamukong Suh. The Lions have gone from a 7-3 juggernaut to a young 7-5 team cracking under the pressure. But consider the last two opponents: the Packers and Saints. Likely the 2 best teams in the NFC and maybe the best in the league (the aforementioned “likely” and “maybe” are only reserved for the Saints). But the Vikings, if the Lions play like we know they can, are a team Detroit should beat. The Lions have absolutely played like knuckle heads, racking up yardage penalties in the process. They might be lose cannons but I expect they’re all hyper aware they have to control their emotions this week. MIN 27 DET 33
Indianapolis Colts @ Baltimore Ravens: If the Ravens could lose a game and still be tied with the Steelers going into week 15, they’d probably lose. But they need to keep pace and will against the lowly Colts. IND 21 BAL 31
Philadelphia Eagles @ Miami Dolphins: Michael Vick may be coming back from injury but there is nothing to get excited about here with the Eagles. There’s no silver lining. There’s no ray of light. There’s just a lost season and a week 14 opponent hungry to finish the season strong. PHI 21 MIA 36
New Orleans Saints @ Tennessee Titans: Upset of the week? The Titans are still in the playoff hunt and Chris Johnson’s value will come shining through in this game. The Titans will defend their home turf while the Saints will be caught thinking about their playoff matchup. NO 21 TEN 26
Atlanta Falcons @ Carolina Panthers: The Falcons started the season as frauds, worked their way back to respectability, and now they’re kinda looking like frauds again. Look for Cam Newton to take this game over leaving the Falcons with the sick feeling in their collective gut as they realise they’ll be facing another decade of this monster in their division. ATL 27 CAR 35
New England Patriots @ Washington Redskins: The Redskins nearly took one away from the Jets last week. Last time I checked, the Pats are not the Jets. NE 36 WAS 27
Sunday Late Games
Chicago Bears @ Denver Broncos: If anyone thinks the Bears’ defense is poised to take down Tebow Time they’d be forgetting that Caleb Hanie still has to run the offense on the other side of the ball. After this game the Broncos will have a 1 game lead on the Raiders in the AFC West heading into week 15. CHI 14 DEN 17
San Francisco 49ers @ Arizona Cardinals: After the Cards’ win against the Cowboys at home they’d be perfectly positioned to win again if Jason Garrett was coaching the 49ers. Buuuuut it’s one of the crazy Harbaughs. Niners roll. SF 21 ARI 7
Buffalo Bills @ San Diego Chargers: After the Chargers win against the Jags some proclaimed them back in the AFC West hunt. Even if they won this game, they’d still be out of it. The Chargers are a disaster this year with no real sense of urgency. Look for the Bills to squeak one out on the road. BUF 23 SD 21
Oakland Raiders @ Green Bay Packers: The Raiders need Darren McFadden back. Now that’s analysis. Look for Carson Palmer to get a few TD passes after this game is well out of hand. OAK 21 GB 41
Sunday Night Game
New York Giants @ Dallas Cowboys: So I think I’ve figured out this whole Garrett thing. He doesn’t trust Tony Romo because Jerry Jones has told him to not put Tony in situations where he can fail. I actually think Jones is trying to protect Romo. But in the process he’s chopped off Garrett’s balls leaving him stuck with the unenviable task of keeping his eccentric owner happy while the team flounders on the field. Jerry, you can’t have it both ways. Tony’s a gunslinger. I could understand overtly playing it safe earlier in the season when Romo was playing with cracked ribs. But now that he’s healthy his has to be able to sling it around or this whole team with have it’s collective balls cut off too. I don’t expect Jerry to get my memo before this game is over, however. These teams play each other twice in the last 2 weeks and the Giants will be well positioned to take the division after the dust has settled on another Cowboys farcical ending. NYG 33 DAL 31
Monday Night Game
St. Louis Rams @ Seattle Seahawks: Did the NFL not know before the season started this was going to be a bad match up? Maybe they didn’t know the Skittles powered Marshawn Lynch would run all over the Rams, but they should have known both teams would not be in contention and did not need a prime time game. How much did ESPN pay for the TV rights to Monday Night Football again? STL 13 SEA 27
Another Thursday night another mediocre game.
Last Thursday I was fairly uncomplimentary when describing the then 4-7 Seahawks and Eagles. And why not? Both teams are bad, neither had a prayer of making the playoffs and Marshawn Lynch was the most exciting player taking the field (that’s less of a slight against Lynch than it is condemnation of the Eagle’s stars who didn’t show up, be it literally or figuratively).
But I was somehow interested in last weeks game. I’ll be the first to confess I don’t tune into many Seahawks’ homegames. You always hear about their “12th man” and how well they play at home. And despite the Eagles obvious problems they still had to be the clear cut favorite going in. Then Lynch got a TD, a handful a Skittles and the game was pretty much over after that.
The intrique of an upset over the Eagles, a team people seemingly love to hate, was enough to provide the dullest flame of interest.
Then there’s the matter of tonight’s matchup: the Cleveland Browns at the Pittsburgh Steelers. There is no intrique here. There is no chance for an upset. There’s no way this game is going to be interesting past the first quarter. Take the Steelers and divert your attention to something else this stormy Thursday night (let’s assume it’s stormy where you are). Christmas is 17 days away or something. So what I’m gonna do as soon as I publish this: sit down next to the fire, and put on a classic gem of a Christmas movie. If you’ll allow me to be overdramatic, just for the sake of tying together my movie reference and the outcome of this game, the Browns are gonna Die Hard. CLE 13 PIT 34
The Eagles’ playoff season is hanging by a thread. Now there’s a sentence we shouldn’t be hearing anymore.
If there was ever any doubt about Philadelphia being dysfunctional then those doubts have been destroyed. Actually, those doubts were touched by Marshawn Lynch which subsequently, turned into Skittles.
As a side note, it’s amazing the media scrutiny that Mark Sanchez endured for eating a hotdog on the side line. Beastmode tosses back some skittles? Free Skittles for life. Maybe it’s because we expect more from a pro athlete than a hotdog. Skittles are undoubtedly the more fun food. Although, as another aside, I was mocked relentlessly for purchasing skittles at my first ever Buffalo Bills game. To be fair, they didn’t really go with beer. Where were we?
Brandictions Week 12: 11-5
Brandictions Overall: 110-65
I’m going to proceed writing this under the assumption a handful of skittles awaits me when I’m done.
Sunday Early Games:
Oakland Raiders @ Miami Dolphins: I see what you’re doing there, Oakland. You’re looking like a good team, poised to make the playoffs by winning your division. Your running game has been well balanced, surprisingly enough, by the play of Carson Palmer. But you thought I forgot you play in the AFC West. Well I didn’t. The winning team in this division will finish just barely over .500. And it’s going to be close right until the end. Plus, you’ll be tied with the Broncos heading into week 14. Besides, Miami is a long way to travel from Oakland. As a side note, look for Darren McFadden to dress next week when the race for the division heats up. As another side note? Lovin’ the side notes today. OAK 21 MIA 24
Denver Broncos @ Minnesota Vikings: I’ve ruined the surprise in the above prediction. I’m all in and I have drank the Koolaid on Tim Tebow. I just hope it’s the good kind of Koolaid. You know, the one without poison. DEN 17 MIN 14
Kansas City Chiefs @ Chicago Bears: After Kyle Orton was released from the Broncos he was rumoured to be playing for either of these teams. Looks like the Chiefs won the…Kyle Orton…sweepstakes…? This could just be an ugly game and I’m taking the Bears almost solely because they’re playing at home. KC 13 CHI 14
Tennessee TItans @ Buffalo Bills: Despite losing to the Jets last week the Bills showed us something we haven’t seen in awhile: a pulse. I believe they hit rock bottom after their blowout at the hands of the Dolphins in week 11. Look for them to play well the rest of the season now that they’re pretty much out of contention to make the playoffs. TEN 24 BUF 31
Atlanta Falcons @ Houston Texans: Remember when we were all pointing and laughing at Matt Leinart, then he got hurt, and now we’re just pointing and laughing at the Texans’ organization? There’s no quarterback there. If this team holds on to make the playoffs they’re going to be eliminated the first time they play. The Falcons are a little more desperate here, too. ATL 27 HOU 21
Indianapolis Colts @ New England Patriots: I actually expect this to be a low scoring affair, compared to most. IND 10 NE 37
CIncinnati Bengals @ Pittsburgh Steelers: I love what the Bengals are doing this year but reality has to kick in at some point, right? I expect another close game here but the Steelers still take this at home. CIN 21 PIT 24
New York Jets @ Washington Redskins: The Jets still kinda stink. I actually like the Redskins for no reason other than they look competent again. I think all this team needed was a little consistency. Rex Grossman never should have been benched and they should have stuck with one guy as the main guy in their running game. Oh and Mark Sanchez is kinda horrible. NYJ 17 WAS 21
Carolina Panthers @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers: With reports coming out of Tampa regarding Josh Freeman having shoulder issues and something about a gun mishap it just feels like something strange is going on down there. CAR 28 TB 17
Sunday Afternoon Games
Baltimore Ravens @ Cleveland Browns: There is absolutely nothing to suggest Cleveland should win this game. BAL 24 CLE 14
Dallas Cowboys @ Arizona Cardinals: Dallas will win this game but it will be a lot closer than Jerry Jones is expecting. DAL 24 ARI 21
St. Louis Rams @ San Francisco 49ers: hahahah….No. STL 7 SF 20
Green Bay Packers @ New York Giants: I keep picking the Giants and I can’t stop. I picked them to beat the Saints last week. Did you hear me? I picked them to beat the Saints. The Giants could show a sign of life if Ahmad Bradshaw suits up this week – but if it’s a game where the Giants are playing catch-up, then Bradshaw’s availability won’t mean much.
Sunday Night Game
Detroit Lions @ New Orleans Saints: The Lions, like Ndamukong Suh’s logic, are busting at the seams. And it’s not a good kind of busting like the Hulk breaking out of his clothes and more like your brain leaking out of your ear and down you leg. DET 21 NO 42
Monday Night Game
San Diego Chargers @ Jacksonville Jaguars: Get yo’ popcorn ready? San Diego have not hit bottom yet. Look for the Jags to play with pride after now-former-Jags head coach Jack Del Rio was fired last week. SD 13 JAC 17
